UNLUCKY

I just booted out of our group's regular poker night after five hours of playing. I have exhausted all my buy-in privileges therefore I am officially placed last in tonight's game. My uncle-cousin-COS/campaign Bobong commented a wise-ass crack about me being so unlucky not only in cards but in love. The superstition says that if a person is lucky with cards he or she is supposed to be lucky in love. In may case, I hit the trifecta, I am all out of luck when it comes to card games, love and money.

To which I wittingly replied, " I do not care as long as I am not unlucky in my career." I do not think Lady Luck really likes me anyway. I do not care much her either. I have always relied on good old hardwork and maybe faith when it comes to my endeavours. When it comes to career or work, I had to work hard all the time to get what I want. In other matters where luck is a necessity, I have proven unsuccessful.

Don't get me wrong, I have always exerted effort when it comes to those aspects of my life where I am often jinxed. The bottomline here is that I have learned to accept things graciously. I may use biting sarcasm as a defense mechanism but I always admit to failures when they come my way.

When it comes to love, I have in more than one occasion tried lowering my standards believe me. I am not picky as a matter of fact, I am pretty flexible... Who am I kidding? I cannot abide by idiots and chicken shits. Adjusting my IQ is a feat in itself but these idiots are too dumb to appreciate it.

Let me tell you how I sunk low when it comes to my quest for Mr. Alright. I once dated a guy who loved to talk about himself. He was short and an Engineering drop-out whose arrogance was both amusing and unbearable. I also had a short fling with a baseball player who was too ugly for my taste, I almost cried with the thought of the possible face and fate of the progeny we will have. Good thing, I have the good sense to have my telephone line cut off. I even fancied liking a a guy who was too "baduy" for my taste. After three dates, I was already pushing him to another woman's arms. I am not naive or inexperience when it comes to men although I am a proud holder of the Virgin's Anonymous Card. I had a relationship with a guy who wants to spend all our time together making out in the hopes to getting laid. Dear God, as if physical intimacy is the end all be all of relationships.

Recently, I even convinced myself that I fancy a stuttering idiot with a lisp just to see for myself if there is something wrong with me. I have made extra effort not to cut off that moron even though I find my brain falling asleep while talking to him. I am unlucky because I was given the normalcy of being of a heterosexual. Like I said before, and I will say it again, Gay people have way more fun.

So, I therefore conclude that I am not at fault at all. It is not my job to cuddle insecurity, vanity and idiocy. I also conclude that I am not unlucky at all. I am not good at cards because I am impatient and I take too many risks. I am not good with money because I am a spender. I am not in a relationship because I am not built for the tedious, mundane and theatherics of another person. It is all so predictable really... it all starts good with the rose-colored, warm, fuzzy or butterfly in the stomach, can't eat, can't sleep kinda feelings. Then after that romantic phase it is all downhill from there. So, Hallmark, Disney and Hollywood can shove up false advertising and marketing of "love" up their asses. And Cupid can kiss my big round ass! I may be unlucky but this does not mean I am not happy with my life.