Believe and Learn

I had a pretty busy morning for someone who did not get enough sleep. I had to three sets of visitors asking for help or assistance before I even had my coffee and breakfast. While I was having breakfast, a man and his daughter came to seek assistance because they got stranded in Tulunan on their way home because they did not have money to pay for their fare. After breakfast while polishing off my coffee, another "client" arrived. This is a typical morning for someone in public service I guess.

I am not complaining really. I do not have salvific complex but this is my job to help people. It is part of my lifelong education to get to know people as I interact with them. So, my last visitor this morning after we have talked and settled his problem, we got to talk more about the plight of his people and the situation in their area. All in all, it was an interesting morning. I also picked up something I just need to share in this blogpost.

Bapa Norping before he left, gave a quote from the Quran- "Believe and Learn". This made me smile because these two words pretty much sum up my own action verbs in life. It is my belief that we are here to learn as much as we can about anything and everything but most importantly about each other. I am not a religious person but I can say I have a strong faith-questioning faith it maybe, it is my faith.

This morning was actually the saga of the interesting night I had just hours ago. It is very inspiring to know people who see things the way I see them. While I seldom indulge in drinking sessions, my drinking buddies last night were pretty interesting people whom I consider my new found friends in my new hometown. The six hours marathon of tipsy, lively yet very witty discussions made me realize how much I have missed in the past three years when I partially sworn off alcohol and heavy drinking. I am not saying that dear-not-so-avid readers that I will be hosting regular drinking sessions from now on but I will not be as prude or priggish to alcohol as I was in the last three years.

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Call it review class but I have come across some pretty good insights last night. It was way more fun than moonlighting as a thesis/research paper writer. Though, I cannot discount that one of my reasons for taking writing jobs aside from money is that I get to use my neurons a lot more and comprehensively learn about other topics or issues.

I was taken aback at the realization that I am not as open-minded as I should be about certain things. Yet, one of the perks of knowing oneself is that one can defend or at the very least justify one's own biases. I have always believed "we are where we are meant to be". A statement to which a newly-found friend, used as to prove his point in the discussion by simply adding- or who we are meant to be. Something along those lines. I was thoroughly amused by the assessment that I need extra instructions when it comes to emotions.

Admittedly, I am a result or let say a living testament-- to the law of atrophy. I am somewhat proud of the fact that I have developed rationality too much, I forgot to develop my emotional quotient. I do not care to argue but experience has taught me all too well that emotions are easily suppressed and crushed. No matter how painful we feel, it all goes away. Emotions are fleeting and they vary all the time, thus very unreliable. Rationality while boring and predictable, is the source of one's equilibrium in life.

I always quote my former boss'. "you learn something new everyday." I am not contradicting the principle of jouissance here. It is not about fear or insecurity nor is it about being cynical. I just happen to relish the fact that I am who I am. I am someone who finds it very difficult to heartily cry. I am not unfeeling. I let myself feel frustration, hate, anger, irritation, amusement and all other emotions including liking or loving someone. Feeling the emotion and acting on those feelings are totally different species. I admit to the fact that I am just wired this way. Faith is not an emotion by the way. It is still a cognitive ability even though often times it lacks rhyme or reason just like instincts.

Let's just say, I have made decisions others might consider ill-advised. That is their opinion. So far, I have yet to regret a decision I have made because at the end of the day it is not always about being right. It has always been about staying true to yourself, believing that things will work out and if they do not, learning from those decisions.