Is it me or is it me? I think I have a post-it sized label stuck to me head that reads, "SUCKER" or perhaps, "DOORMAT". I think I should ease up on these strongly-held restrains of my bitchiness once in awhile. However, I know I stop people on their tracks without much effort so I do not need to be assertive about these things. I am not one to fluff my feathers or sharpen my horns to show dominance because I think therefore I am (aka Cognito ergo Sum alluding to my own sense of worth). I render even "pretty" girls and "pretty" boys insecure or intimidated without even trying..really? D@mn I'm good...
I have learned not to take things personally nowadays. I think I have immensely matured since the past three months. If I were as petulant as I was years ago, what happened to me last week would have merited a walk-out or at the very least a dramatic stage exit. But I guess I have outgrown melodrama and hysteria (not that I am one for hysterics, mind you).
When I turned 26, I have decided on a new mission and vision for my life. I want to live a life with the least amount of regrets as possible. I want to have a short but very full life. Should I be so lucky to reach old age, I want to reminisce on how I lived well and not to be stuck on "what could have beens or what might have beens".
I have once written an essay on regrets when I was in highschool and I still remember the first line- "Regrets leave empty spaces in one's lives." As far as I can tell, I have yet to regret anything I have done. I am unapologetic of how I live my life because it is how I chose it to be. The few bumps and scratches were all part of the growing up process I know that much now.
This is the reason why I sneer at melodrama and regard people with contempt when I witness drama scenes unfolding in real life . I understand very well that people can be self-absorbed with all the drama and "tragedies" of their life. It is quite natural. For someone like me who uses tragedy as a comedic punchline or a funny anecdote for blogs or my friends, I find these people laughable.
I am laugh at those who have issues against me when clearly I do not know nor do I really care what is going on in their little petty minds. I laugh at those whom I render bumbling like idiots or whom I render stupid really. I laugh at people who regard me as someone who is out to get them, upstage them or outwit them. If you cannot deal with it then there is nothing I can do for you to make you feel better or make you understand. I was born a superstar until I burnout and die. I am destined for something great because I was made and tested that way. When they were living their superficial happy lives, I was already being prepared by destiny for what I am to become.
The joke is on people who think I give a damn about what they think of me... If I were hit by lightning, get shot, have a cardiac arrest or slip and hit my head or just stopped breathing- whatever way possible I should die today or tomorrow, I know I have no regrets in my life. I have always made the best decisions for my life and even if they did not go my way, they were always my decision.
Like I said time and time again, "My life is a comedy of errors." I understand now really that I was given the most precious gift to live this life-SENSE OF HUMOR. It is a pity really knowing I am a superior athlete, shot and martial artist because I cannot pick on those inferior to me. So let the mind games begin! LET'S DANCE!
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