Toys and Children's Stories

As jaded or hardened as I claim myself to be, I am a sucker for GP movies with sad ending. I finally figured how to make myself cry. I just go watch GP movies and I can shed some of those carefully repressed tears. The last movie that made me cry was the third and regrettably the last instalment of Toy Story. Before Toy Story 3, I felt loony crying over a pre-teen movie, The Bridge to Terabithia. There is nothing more sad than a child losing a loved one. I think instead of fairy tales, children should be more exposed to movies and stories like Bambi, My Girl and ET.

But the Toy Story 3 reminded me so much of a cartoon movie I repeatedly watch as a child, "The Brave Little Toaster." These movies taught me the importance of valuing my toys and other stuff I own. Somehow growing up, I always believed these inanimate objects are alive.As much as I hate to admit it, I am unfortunately still a child at heart.

I am not one to discard toys even as a child. If I get bored at a toy, I put it aside and apologized and will promise to play with it the next day. I even rotate my pillows because I did not want that one pillow will be burdened by the weight of my head every night. I have come a long way from believing that toys and appliances are animate creatures. I have grown more careless of things I own over the years. I am trying to adjust my attitude of late because I have found myself being a little bit more desensitized everyday. I am so numb these days, I do not even the sense of time or date. I was surprised to realize that it will be October very soon. I have yet to reclaim my excitement for the Holiday season...

Being jaded, sophisticated even being insensitive are the complete contrast to Jouissance-- of being able to savor life no matter how salty, sweet, bland, spicy or bitter it maybe.

I think ten year old version of me if she can travel in time like the movie, "KID" will be somewhat disappointed in me. But like what the character Diedre said, I will tell the ten year old me that everything will work out just fine. While, I have put away childish things, I have never stopped and I do no think I will stop believing that things always work out in the end like in the movies and children's stories. Happy endings are totally different from resolutions. Happily Ever Afters can only exist in single dimensions of fairy tales and have no place in the dynamics of everyday living.

Thus, to reclaim a part of my childhood and the child-like wonder, I am spending more time, reflecting and by God, meditating. I suck at meditating since the time my father taught me how to meditate way back in 5th grade. I did not have the mental patience and discipline then, I am not very hopeful if I have gained some over the years. But tomorrow is another day although for the love of me, I do not know what date or day tomorrow is unless I look at my calendar...